I just love doing these 5 Reason thing-ies!

1.  The Painfully obvious one, you do need to have sex again sometime this century……

2.  Although you wouldn’t know it, it will give you hope (unless you go out with some strange guy you met on-line that has a picture that looks like Brad Pitt on his profile and shows up and looks like Danny Devito. )

3. Free Meal…. ok that’s a bad one b/c dating for food is not good, I know we’re in a bad economy, but seriously the local church gives out free meals…. save your dignity…. (ok that one was funny b/c I’m laughing all by myself here)

4. To prove to yourself you can still do this, it takes effort, really I know it does, If you have kids lets start by having to get babysitting or make sure to plan your date when they’re with their dad etc., find a nice out fit, brush your hair & teeth, please put on deodorant, if he’s cute throw in a nice shower…maybe a little perfume…  (ok seriously this is a joke, I hope for God’s sake you take a shower everyday and brush your hair & teeth) unless your going for the dread-lock do which is gross, but a personal choice nonetheless…..

5. TATATADA…….. Because your Fucking awesome and someone is going to be lucky to even have 5 minutes with you, once your out it’s actually fun, have a drink, and if the guy is gross, then just enjoy the time out and change your number after the date!

Enjoy your life, it goes by very quickly!

xo!

Yes it actually is spelled that way… ( I just googled it!) You don’t want to read a Dummies Blog I’m sure….

Ok so I’m putting on my make up this morning, going through all the shit I have to do today…

Take out the chicken from the freezer

Mail out the pool guys check…

Make the appt for my OB hello it’s been months I keep saying I have to call! (ok a little to much info there… sorry, but seriously I have to call!)

And then the random thoughts pop up…

“Man…. I wonder if my ex really is still in love with me”…. (doesn’t matter one way or the other b/c I’m done but….)

but then I thought… You know that really has to suck (for him) for me it’s more like…. I’m kind a glad it sucks for him…

He must look at me like a pile of money he lost in Vegas! Really! Not that I’m rich or anything but really I was a great wife, mom, friend etc… Well I’m sure you guys get a wiff of my SPECTACULAR personality on this BLOG! But I’m thinking he has to see me pretty much every week(b/c of our kids) and he sees my life isn’t over by any means, actually it’s just starting and even better than before, actually 100 times better b/c now I have YEARS of experience, I’m still young (fuck you… 40 is still young!)  and life is good.

So for you ladies that have walked away and wonder even for a second what he thinks of you….. Just imagine this image of Stacks of Money and know he lost that and then some…..

xo Bitches!

I’m just asking…..

How have you made a difference in your own life?

Have you taken time for your self lately?

Have you been honest with yourself?

Have you looked at yourself in the mirror and been truthful…

Do you know that you can make the change that will make your life 100% better?

Do you know that only YOU can change your life?

Do you know that only you know what the best thing for YOU is?

I’m just saying…. what have you done?

I love positive change! Take the bull by the horn Girlfriend!

xo

Best of luck baby!

So it’s Monday Morning…. top of the hour! Get you asses out of Bed cause…… I got a Feeling… that today is gonna be awesome!

You know why?

Because I’m gonna make it awesome!

And you can and will too!

Let’s get you flabby ass to the gym or park for a nice brisk walk (I only say that b/c my ass is Flabby too… don’t get offended! ) and if you do get offeneded, get a life you don’t even know me…. (but I love ya! ) so that’s what this is…. tough love! Summer is around the corner!

I got back on my Weight Watchers and hit the gym at 7:45 this morning, I PLEDGE MY ASS WILL BE TIGHT!!!

I’m off….. gotta work … yes I do work! This is not my JOB….

xoxo

Hi Friends! So Sorry I have been on hiatus for some time… Life catches up, but that is no excuse, because when I came to check in I had quite a few comments from readers who have actually signed up to receive my posts regularly!

So I wanted to come on here tonight and post some thing short and sweet….

I had the honor of being invited as a Guest Speaker this weekend for a women’s group and I truly have to say that it was amazing and I’m so surprised that there are soooo many women in the SAME situation.

My intention is that this website will bring you a little joy, a little smile and perhaps a little hope!

Life is short, shit happens, and you WILL get through what ever it is your going through! I Promise!

If you would like to share your story with me and would like a response, please email me at 365daysofdivorce@gmail.com .

xo!

Ok… So this Post is actually about “What have YOU done for YOU lately???

It’s Friday…. what are ya gonna do?

Please Please Please tell me you have some sort of plans…

If you have your kids, find something to do with them that you can enjoy too.  Like take’m bowling, a lot of the new bowling places play great music and best of all they serve Alcohol! (OK don’t get shit faced with your kids… but have a nice glass of wine while your kids fight over who’s turn it is!)

If you don’t have your kids this weekend b/c your dearest EX has them… then shame on you if need to come on here and get advice from me on where to go! But if you need me….. ok ok I’ll help! So you should definitely have a stash of single friends, at least one that you can go have dinner and drinks with.  If they’re fun & wild then go clubbing (Depends on your age now doesn’t it…. or not!)

So what if you have no kids, no friends… well then that can be awesome too! IF it were me.. and I’m just saying…. I would totally do on of the following:

1. Go to Barnes & Noble and hang out a while,  browse all the sections you enjoy, if you have kids YOU KNOW you can never do that!  Buy yourself a Carmel Macchiato and just chill in one of those chairs you see people sitting in when you go and wonder “Who the hell has the time to come here and sit in these chairs???) Divorced & Single people, That’s who!

2. Order your favorite food for dinner & pick up a bottle of a nice delish wine! Sit on your couch with one of those little “Fold-y” tables. Make sure to have your remote control next to you (both of them! ), your cel phone on the other side, and a napkin! Cuz you definitely don’t want to be interrupted when you hit the start button on your FRIDAY NIGHT MOVIE! Uninterrupted Dinner & Movie! That’s a dream come true! Enjoy!

3. Skip the clubs, Skip the movie but NEVER skip the wine! So have a bubble bath, give yourself a facial and call it an early night and watch repeats of Everybody Loves Raymond!

Whatever you do, the point is Enjoy it, relish in it,  in our crazy ass lives it’s not everyday you catch a break!

xo Friends!

Ok… So I’m not sure if I will, but nothing brings me happiness like making my friends laugh, even at their Fucked Up situations!

So I really hope I can do the same for you….

So it’s the first Monday in 2012 and all the Facebook Coaches are going bonkers since November asking If I have my plan all set up for 2012! Hello! I didn’t even have the one for 2011! But really, these coaches are supposed to be helpful and make you feel good about “you”, it wasn’t even January 2012 and I already felt I was behind schedule! WTF!!

But Really…. Do you have big plans for 2012?

My Divorcee Friends notebooks look like this…..

1.  Get his ass out of the house

2.  Get his ass out of the house….

3.  OK sorry for #2 twice… it’s just really important

4.  Go seek therapy for ….. everyone in the damn house

5. Buy a membership to your local wine store ( you will be needing this…)

Ok I just realized this list only applies to people who have not gotten separated from their husbands… So here goes the list of TO DO for those who have already been separated and possibly even Divorced! (Lucky Bitches)

1. Go get laid right away……

2. Ok…. now that we got that out of the way, make sure you find yourself support, btw your Happily Married perfect friends are NOT what I’m talking about here, neither are your man hating lesbian friends…. Maybe your Hair Dresser? Bar Tender? Gay Uncle Bob? no no no that’s not right, just maybe someone who’s been there done that ( half our population or more…)

3. Get an awesome (hot ) trainer and get that awesome body back! If you never had an awesome body who gives a shit, go out and just get Hotter than you were before!

4. Plan a vacation! Even if your dirt ass broke, if you plan ahead you can get a deal even if you stay at HOJO (yuk) but if your broke…..

That’s it for now my thoughts are flooding my head, my kids are running a muck, my dog needs to go out and pee…… Water is boiling!

Gotta Go Bitches!

Happy 2012!

Being done is one of the best feelings in the world.  Really it is. 

• It’s liberating
• 100 pounds is lifted from your shoulder
• Feeling of a clean slate
• No more worrying about what you can’t change

Simply Said Your Done! It’s the Best!

Be done with it, you’ll love me later!

xo

Ok five reasons people stay together…

1.   Can’t afford to live on your own— Sad but often true…

2.  Want to make sure you stay together and ruin whatever chance of happiness your partner may have (kinda fun)

3.  You think who the hell is gonna want me with all this baggage? (partially true… but there’s some one out there with just as much shit going in their life, you might be the one to run in the other direction! )

4. You’re afraid to live alone with your kids—- stop it you know you’ve thought about it… fuck that I’m not doing this alone!

5.   Your afraid of meeting someone worse than the dick you live with now…. Um yeah… that would suck….

Just love you guys! !

Ok so my ex-husband asks to use my bathroom each and every time he comes in my house.  He does this I would say about 4 times per week as he drops my kids home from school every week.  So… possible scenarios:

1. He’s marking his territory
2. He wants to smell up my house just to fuck with me
3. The thought this house isn’t his anymore gives him diarrhea
4. Has a secret stash in my guest bathroom I don’t know about…. (Must check this one out)
5. Secretly has planted a hearing device to hear every person that comes in my bathroom take a shit or pee? (that would really be weird)

Why does he continue to ask pretty much every day, “Do you mind if I use the bathroom”? Don’t know, but I will tell you it’s annoying as fuck! Burger King has plenty of clean bathrooms!

Tally’O continue with your lovely day….